“Ellie, you’ve been telling me about this forever. Why don’t you just go ahead and do it?” my mom said to me. “It’s a new year and maybe that’s the right time to start afresh.”
I chewed on my lip, knowing that my mom was right. I mumbled something that sounded like mild agreement. I hated when she made sense.
“You used to love this time of year. You were always so excited to begin new projects,” my mother continued. “But lately, you’ve just been complaining about the things you haven’t done. How hard is it to start one anyway? It seems like everyone is doing it. Mrs. Poon was just telling me that her son’s been making lots of money off of his. What was it about again? Something on limited edition running shoes or something....”
“Well, I might not be as good as Jack at it,” I muttered. “He’s kind of a whiz at computers.”
“But isn’t it all about the writing?”
My mom was, yet again, bang on, in more ways than the obvious. Writing a blog was about the writing, and for me, the writing was especially important because I love writing. I didn’t want to just start a blog to make money off of sponsor ads or just to kill time at nights. I had mentioned to my mom about starting a blog because I enjoyed the writing process and wanted to make a living – and eventually a career- out of it. And although I’ve known this for a couple of years now, I still haven’t started writing much. Being an aspiring writer doesn’t mean much when you haven’t been writing anything substantial. I let out a deep sigh.
“Yeah, I know mom, it is about the writing,” I finally replied. “I’ll work on it, I promise.”
Who knew that a simple long-distance phone call to wish my parents a happy new year would end up being a personal wake-up call?
I ended the conversation, feeling contemplative. I wasn’t sure if I felt more bummed or inspired. Sure, like any other 25-year old, there were things in life that I wanted for myself. Things like a great, high-powered career and a four-bedroom house in the suburbs. But those things would take time to achieve. Luckily, my life wasn’t empty either, I reminded myself. I had a job that sustained me and a hugely supportive network of friends and family. And most importantly, I had my health and a good, working brain. I know these weren’t things that most people prided themselves on, but hey, for those who don’t have them, it’s important.
Despite this, there were definitely things that were missing in my life that caused a little gnawing ache in my chest. I took this as a hint that some changes needed occurring in my life. New Year’s guilt, anyone? I thought to myself. Good grief.
With that last thought, my brain clicked. Yes, Ellie, this is the year that you should be making changes for yourself, for the betterment of your aching chest if not for anything else, I told myself. (Who knew - maybe this was the real cause of heart attacks.)
All this means that I would have to start improving on the things that I needed to improve on, and start working on reaching my goals…once I settled on what they were exactly. I focused on my life, at present. Let’s call it my 2011 balance sheet:
1.) A fulltime job as an admin assistant that paid for my bills, allowed me to put 20% into my savings account, and left some extra for splurges and goodies.
2.) A cute two-bedroom apartment downtown - mortgaged, with one bedroom currently vacant.
3.) Dedicated parents, hugely supportive in an Asian way (mostly monetary), albeit physically missing since they reside in Hong Kong.
4.) Fabulous friends who support me in a spiritual way (non-monetary), some of whom I’ve known for over a decade.
5.) A two-year old cat that had long black fur with a white chest and paws, with adoring puppy-dog eyes that always seemed to make me feed him at will. (His will, not mine.)
Things I Don’t Have (again, in no order of importance)
1.) A fulfilling career as a writer, since this stirred my passions a lot more than a career as the firm’s un-official office slave.
2.) My own personal form of transportation. (The bus does not count, even if I am on occasion the only person to ride on it when I come home late at nights.)
3.) Extra spare time to write.
4.) Opportunities to travel all over the world (which might include exotic locales so that I could write on the beach with a margarita in hand).
5.) A winning lottery ticket that would allow me to pursue my dreams and interests without worrying about the bills, thereby fulfilling needs #2, 3 and 5, collectively.
6.) A stable and loving boyfriend (hopefully with good looks, romantic inclinations and a hefty bank account to boot).
7.) The stamina and dedication to do all that stuff I promised myself that I would do last year, one of which was starting my own blog. (Ha! At least this one was being taken care of.)
8.) A Gucci purse.
Okay, fine. That last item is admittedly shallow, but I’ve secretly always wanted one since I saw one on an episode of The Hills.
I looked again at the second half of my list, and highlighted the few things that truly mattered to me: writing, time, and travelling, which when I thought about it, probably included experiencing the city itself. After having lived in Vancouver for so many years, there were still a lot of things I haven't discovered about my hometown. I concluded that these were easy goals to focus on this year. I just needed to dedicate some time (which ironically was a goal in itself) to work on them.
So, I’ll need to start writing more. A lot more. Even if it’s not about much, I’ll need to make myself committed to writing as a means to an end, which is to be a writer who will actually produce some written work for some money. Hopefully.
I turned on my computer and opened my web browser, typing in the URL that was to be my goal and my new companion, starting today. I entered all of the registration details, filling in the profile details afterwards. I chose a few design elements, and in a mere hour or so, I was looking at my new baby:
Without hesitation, I began to write:
"Wow! The idea to start a blog has rolled around in my head for quite
some time and I've daydreamed on multiple occasions about what I would share with my readers…"
some time and I've daydreamed on multiple occasions about what I would share with my readers…"
~ To Be Continued ~
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